How To Walk Through A Storm Gracefully

There is a part of life that just happens… Unexpectedly, and at the most inconvenient time this part of life just marches right in, brings a whole bunch of havoc and upheaval, and causes you to feel frustrated.

This part of life is called a storm.

It’s when you are just going about your life… adulting, taking care of everyday responsibilities, doing you; and the next thing you know, BAM!!!! You’ve stepped into a full blown storm.

These storms can look like relationship issues, breakups, financial issues, major disappointments, setbacks, job/career problems, health issues, or any other problem that rocks you to your core.

You all may have noticed that I’ve been writing about “difficult times” and “overcoming difficult times” for the last few blogs. Well, that’s because a storm came to visit me. And because I am transparent with what I go through, the things I need to improve, and the things that I’ve overcome and learned, I naturally tend to write and speak about what I am experiencing in the moment. So, I am going to share what I have learned about storms from going through my own; I am also going to share some tips and suggestions on how to minimize frustration, feelings of defeat, and overcome the desire to give up.

First things first. Here are some facts about storms:

1. No one is exempt from going through them. Not one person walking this earth is exempt from storms. Having money does not prevent storms. No race,nor status, or massive success can stop you from going through storms. Gender does not matter. And no, there is no gender that has it easier or harder during their storms. Storms do not have a choice, or preference. They come to bring about shifts… so, if your life is due for a shift, no matter where you are, who you are, what you look like, what you’ve been through, how hard or easy you have it, wealth or poverty stricken - a storm will eventually choose you.

2. They WILL come and go throughout your lifetime, at and and all phases of life... and that is just a fact. Life is a series of highs and lows, peaks and valleys, living and learning, experiences and memories. Storms are a part of every part of your life.

3. They do not come to intentionally hurt you, they actually come to clear your path. Most of the time, storms come with some unwanted experiences and/or results. And while it may seem like they are creating hurt, pain, and/or ruin; they are actually attempting to help you. That’s why the quote “storms come to clear your path” is such a very popular quote… because a storm’s job is to wash away the crap that no longer suits you or the direction of your life. They come to get your attention, to put a halt to something, to stop you in your tracks, to redirect you, or to expose some shit that you are not seeing. While awakening to some of the things that the storm is trying to clear may hurt, this is not bad pain. This is the pain of healing.

4. You are not a victim of them. It’s easy to claim victim when you feel life is fucking with you unfairly. Or when you feel like you don’t deserve what is happening to you. Or when you’ve done everything you know how to do in your power to prevent yourself from going down a certain unwanted path, only to find yourself going down that path anyway because life just wants to make shit unnecessarily difficult. Trust me, I’ve been there (can’t you tell, lol). There are times when it feels like life isn’t fair and the storm you are going through is unjustly targeting you. But, wallowing in this emotion and state of mind is the beginning stage of giving up. And in this All Queens Army, we DO NOT give up. So, try not to allow yourself to fall into the victim mentality. Yes, I know it’s hard. But one way that you can prevent feeling victimized is to find the opportunity in the storm. Search for the lesson in it. Engage the difficulty and ask it questions. What does it want you to do? What does it want you to learn? What is it trying to show you? - That’s the key.

5. They are temporary. They sure are. The difficult times always have an expiration date. Remember, every storm runs out of rain. Stay the course, it will be over before you know it.

6. There is a very valuable, life changing lesson within them. Sure is! As I described above in #4. Storms come to cause change in your life. Become curious about why the storm is here as opposed to being angry that it’s inconveniencing you. If you embrace the storm, feel the rain, and listen to the thunder you will learn something that could cause your life to do a 180!

7. You will not be the same person walking out of the storm as you were walking into it. Every time you experience something different (especially when it’s difficult) you change. The bottom line is, going through a storm will change you, whether you intend it to or not. Your best bet is to engage the storm so that the change that it does within you is a change for the better and not a change to being bitter.

Next, let’s talk about the 3 major lessons that I learned while walking through a storm.

1. I am not in control (and neither are you). This was a hard, hard, HARD lesson for me because I believe that what you give is what you get back. I believe that what you reap is what you sow. So, imagine me working my ass off and getting a setback as opposed to a success. Well, that’s what happened. Life dealt me a setback after I had put in everything that I had to give. That setback taught me that no matter how much I try to control the outcome or result; I am just NOT in control. You can do everything right, and still, something goes awry. What that taught me was that I have to loosen up my rigid plans and allow the universe to guide me. Still have my intention and take action to work towards my goals everyday, but humble myself and KNOW that I am not in control of anything outside of myself. I learned to be willing to go with the flow and adapt to the changes.

2. What it looks like is not what or all there is! This lesson piggy backs off of the lesson above. See, when I worked my ass off and expected success as the result of my effort, but in turn got a setback instead - I thought the setback was a setback… because that’s what it looks like to us when things don’t seem to be working out the way you intended or thought they would. But, what we can see with our human physical eyes is not always what it is or all there is to the story. It’s just what it looks like for now. The truth is, my setback wasn’t a setback at all. It only felt like it at the moment. But, it was actually a set up. It was a set up for a MAJOR opportunity that I would have never been able to dream of. So, if you feel frustrated or disappointed with the way your situation turned out or how it looks right now, just know that there is more to the story. Don’t give up on the book because there is a chapter ahead that will launch you further ahead than any action of your own could ever propel you to!

3. Faith, belief, hope, and trust and wayyyyyyyy too fucking underrated. Whewwwww chile sometimes the storms can cause darkness. The claps of thunder and roar of the sky may just cause an electrical outage and you’ll find yourself walking through life not being able to see what’s in front of you. Well, girl if you are anything like me, you will be hesitant to take steps forward when you can’t see where they are leading.

This is where faith, belief, hope, and trust come in. Because during these dark moments, you may be being asked, pushed, or challenged to move or take a leap without the guarantee or knowledge about how it will work out. Not to mention, you may be being asked to make this move or take this leap right after your flashlight, life vest, and parachute has been removed. This is the test of true faith, belief, hope, and trust. When you have NO safety net - what will you do? Will you stay in the safe zone? Or, will your faith, belief, trust and hope take over and give you the courage you need to take a risk?

Sure, you’ve taken a risk in the past and it didn’t work out, so now you’re extra cautious and possibly even scared to take a leap.

Here’s what I learned - Trying again after failing… after disappointment… after fear sets in…after the doubt sets in… after the embarrassment… after the financial ruin almost took you out… is the secret fucking sauce that everyone wants the recipe to. The thing is, most people want the microwavable recipe because they want the life that they want to come easy, quick, and without pain, effort, or suffering. But, the secret sauce recipe that I just shared is the conventional oven recipe.

So, what I learned about faith, belief, hope, and trust? Have it… lots of it. And use it when you feel that the universe is nudging you to move or take a leap. And don’t let past failures hold you back. Shit, don’t let anything hold you back. Look what you fear in the eye and courageously MOVE your feet in the direction of the fear. Slay that fucking dragon. Because one things for SURE - the universe will always support you when you trust Her.

As promised, here are some tips and suggestions on how to go through a storm without losing your shit.

1. Meditate at least once a day. Meditating allows you to become one with your consciousness and learn to detach from the ego. And during this time, you recenter yourself and have the ability to hear your higher self communicate through spirit. You can find a peace like nothing you’ve ever felt before. You can become more intune with the answers you are seeking and the direction you should take. It’s truly an amazing experience. Give it a try.

2. You may have moments where you feel defeated. Like nothing you are doing is helping you get out of the yucky shit that has been dumped on you. To stop your brain from spiraling with this negative outlook, become aware of the fact that there is a higher power that is protecting, guiding, and nurturing you. When you become aware of this higher power, you will realize that you do not have to solely depend on your own knowledge, your own action, or your own decisions to resolve the problems you are experiencing. TRUST that a way will be made. BELIEVE that your mountain can be moved. Because it is not primarily your physical action/activity that will create the result you are seeking, it is your FAITH.

3. You may want to give up. The storm may produce many hurdles, difficulties, setbacks, heartbreak, disappointments, etc. It may prevent you from seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. It may start to eat away at your hope, faith, and dreams. You may feel like it’s just easier to give up. You may want the troubles to end immediately and feel desperate to just stop, to quit, or to throw in the towel. You may feel like you can’t handle yet another negative outcome. Don’t give up. You’re already in it. You’re likely more than halfway through it. If you quit now, everything that you’ve been through was all for nothing. You might as well keep going and get the reward that’s at the end of the storm. Because YES, there is a reward at the end of the storm.

Well, there you have it. Basically my life right now in a nutshell, lol. I am very tender right now because the storm has kicked my ass. But, to my storm, I want to say “Thank You” for the lesson(s). Thank you for seeing my potential, recognizing my hopes and dreams, and exposing the hidden parts of my life that would prevent me from living them. Thank you for clearing my path. Thank you for showering me with blessings. Thank you for the roar in the sky that woke me up.

To all of you beautiful souls - please be engaged with the storm. Listen to her, feel her, let her cleanse you, let her teach you. It’s hard, but worth it.

Love you, girl. Mean it.

Until next time,

Breeze Phoenix