How To Get Unstuck - 5 Quick Ways To Conquer Your Fear of Rejection Today

Fearing rejection has a major impact on our lives, specifically in the ability for us to achieve goals, accomplish new objectives, and engage in new experiences. So many people hold themselves back and hesitate to do, say, or try something that they want because they are afraid of getting unfavorable results or responses. I have never met one person who didn’t mind being rejected, so I do not believe that learning to be ok with it is the solution to conquering the fear. In my observation (and experience) there is only one difference between people who have successfully overcome their fears and achieve their goals and people who allow fear to block their blessing and that is the fact that the former faces the fear as opposed to running from it.

That’s it.

Despite what people may think almost everyone feels some sort of anxiety when faced with potential rejection. But the key to conquering it is to feel the fear and do it anyway.

So, how do you muster up the courage, confront this debilitating fear, and stop holding yourself back? Here’s 5 ways for you to look fear in the eye and say ‘let’s dance”.

• Assess how bad you want the thing that you’re afraid to go after. Really think about it. How bad do you want it? Do you want it bad enough to take the risk of potentially getting rejected? Which is more scary - not ever getting what you want or getting rejected when you try? In reality, every single one of us would toss our fear to the side without a second thought if the reward was worth it to us. Think about it. Would you walk across a swinging bridge 300 feet in the air from one building to the next for $100? Probably not. But, would you walk across it for $200 million? Hell yeah! The risk has to be worth the reward! Most of us aren't willing to try something that's super risky for $100, but $200 million is a life changing amount of money so the reward is worth the risk.

Now apply that same logic to the thing you want. Is it worth the risk? And just so we’re clear - the risk is the pain/feeling you think you’re going to experience if you get rejected.

So the bottom line is - if your reward (the thing you want) is not valuable or important enough to you, then you will never take the risk necessary to get it. The reward should motivate you to take the risk, face the fear, and go for it! And if it doesn’t, then the thing you want is not big enough, not impactful enough, not life changing enough, it’s not inspiring you to get out of your comfort zone. So, reassess what you want. You may realize that your goals are too small.

• Identify exactly what it is about the rejection that scares you. This will require self reflection (you knew it was coming, lol). Explore your inner fears to get to the root of what’s causing them. Once you are more aware of your own fears and why they exist, you will be able to confront them head on and rise above them once and for all!

• Recalibrate your thoughts and self talk. Keep in mind that fear is not a tangible thing. You can’t touch it. It’s real only in your mind and thoughts. If you change the way you think and what you say to yourself surrounding the thing that you want, you’ll stop perpetuating the fear. In order to conquer fear, you must believe you CAN do what it is that you want to do, but if you keep telling yourself that you can’t… then, well… you can’t.

So, try to change the negative, self depreciating, fear induced self talk and replace it with uplifting positive affirmations. So go on and boost yourself up! Tell yourself that you CAN do whatever you aspire to do! Tell yourself you ARE more than enough and you DO deserve to have what you want. You will believe whatever you tell yourself about yourself, so if you read those positive affirmations to yourself everyday, you will recalibrate your thoughts and self talk and become confident, courageous, and bold enough to face your fear of rejection. To make reading affirmations to yourself easy, I’ve created a list of affirmations that many women have used to speak positivity over themselves and conquer their fears. You can download a list of positive affirmations here.

• Trust your mental strength. Believing that you have what it takes to handle rejection is very important. As mentioned above, your fear of rejection is the welling up of an emotion that you feel when you start to think or imagine an outcome of being rejected. But the truth is that even IF you are rejected, you have to know that you are strong enough to handle it. The fact that you are still living everyday is proof that you have mental fortitude. Think back to how much you’ve overcome. Think about the challenging situations that you’ve already conquered. Think about the last difficult thing that you endured. And you’re still here. So, to sum it up, you already have the mental strength to face rejection and conquer it, you just have to trust your mental muscle.

• Take the leap. There’s no time like the present. Once you’ve implemented steps 1-4, just go on ahead and do whatever it is that you’ve been afraid to do. The only true way to conquer a fear is to go THROUGH whatever you’re afraid of. I guarantee you that overthinking about how the rejection will feel is way more agonizing than how it will actually feel when you do it.

Stop playing it safe and get out of your comfort zone. The things you want are waiting for you to come and get them. Your goals, dreams, hopes, and desires are the motivation you need to break through the barriers that are holding you back. You already have what it takes to face your fear of rejection. So, take the steps recommended above and overcome bust through those limitations. You are a conqueror and that fear of rejection is NO match for you! The fact that you are reading this blog is proof that this is your season to get unstuck. This is your time!