How To Get Back on the Wagon When You’ve Fallen Off

Is this you?

Is there some goal or task that you’ve started, but then fell off the wagon and now you can’t find the energy or motivation to get started again and get back on the wagon?

If so, then you are in good company because honetayyyy……… THIS has been my personal kryptonite for years!

The inconsistency…

The starting and stopping…

The beating myself up because I keep falling off the wagon…

The not being able to find the motivation to get started… Again…. And again…. And Again. UGHHH

If you can relate and need to find a way to get back on the horse, then keep reading because I have FINALLY figured out something that works for me and it may just work for you too!

First off, you have to know and understand that falling off of the wagon is normal. It’s all a part of creating new habits, starting new routines, or just initiating a new mindset or set of activities. Keep in mind that you are accustomed to doing things a certain way for however many years you’ve been doing it, and now you wish to make a change. It’s almost like having to re-learn a whole new behavior, and unlearn an unwanted or no longer desirable behavior or habit. This takes effort, time, focus, dedication, and determination. So, please… give yourself some grace and don’t beat yourself up if you are having a hard time staying the course.

Transparent moment - (those of you who are regular blog reading/podcast listening Queens, you already know this, but for the newbies)... My biggest struggle has been staying on the wagon, being consistent, and focusing on one business/task/goal. So, trust me, I KNOW what it’s like to fall off, but I also know what it takes to hop back on. And, I had to learn how to pick my own ass up and get my own ass back on that damn wagon. There are a few mindset shifts that needed to happen before I was able to motivate myself to get back on the wagon. I’ll share them with you because there is a big chance that you may need to alter your perception on a few things in order to lift yourself back up!

The first thing that I had to accept was that inconsistencies were going to be a part of the process of making changes in my life (This is for me personally. Some people may not experience this phase, but FOR ME and maybe for some of you, the journey consists of learning how to be consistent).

The second thing I had to accept was that spotty progress is still progress. And no, I am not saying that I will ever hit my goal if I continue to lack consistency or if I can’t stay the course. Consistently staying on the wagon is 10000% a required KEY to success. All I am saying is that starting and stopping or starting and falling off is more progress than not starting at all. And I had to start giving myself some credit for that (and you should too).

The third thing I had to accept was that my journey is not going to look like anyone else’s… and yours won’t either. People who I saw that were winning and succeeding at the very thing it was that I aspired to do, went through a process and a journey of their own; but their journey may look a lot different from mine (especially from my vantage point). And this helped me realize why I shouldn’t compare myself, my progress, my hurdles, my struggles, my timeframe, or my pace with ANYONE else’s. Even when you are trying to reach the same destination as another person, your route and theirs are NEVER the same. There are no 2 identical life paths so comparing yourself and/or your progress to someone else is baseless and discouraging.

So, once I shifted my mindset to accept the above realities, I was mentally prepared to jump back on the wagon whenever I fell off… and here’s how I did it:

1. Have a powerful enough reason why you want to change or hit the goal. A lot of you lack the motivation because the reason why you want what you want is not strong enough. The thing you want or goal that you have has to trigger some sort of strong emotion in you. In other words; the pain, discomfort, or fear that comes with staying where you are or continuing to do what you are doing has to be strong enough to outweigh the discomfort or inconvenience of doing the activity that will bring about the result or change that you want. (You may have to read that again, lol). So, that means you have to re-evaluate what you want/your goal. Ask yourself why you want it? If you can’t answer that question with a reason that triggers a powerful emotion; then this is why you are lacking the motivation to stay the course. Here’s an example. Let’s say your goal is to start a business, but you keep falling off the wagon to get the business off the ground. Ask yourself why you want to run a business? If the answer is because you want to make more money, then the amount of money you make presently has to create a bigger discomfort than the discomfort or inconvenience of having to do the activities you need to do to start the business and make it successful. In other words, it has to be harder to live with the money you make presently then it is to do what you need to do to start the business and grow it to success. If it’s not harder to stay where you are then it is to do what needs to be done to hit your goal, you will never find the motivation to get back on the wagon when you fall off.

2. Get organized. (Beware, this may trigger some anxiety, but hang in there, you can do this!). Before you can get consistent, you have to get organized. Taking on a new skill/task/habit/ or changing your life’s direction requires a lot of focused energy at the beginning. So, if your life is in chaos, you will have a hard time staying focused, thus preventing you from staying on the wagon. Every little thing that happens in your life will become a distraction and a priority over the task that keeps you moving toward your goal. Just so we’re on the same page… to get organized means to have plans and systems in place to get important and prioritized things done in your life regularly and timely. Seems overwhelming - right?? I know it is! But, that’s why you have to get organized because an overwhelmed mind with too many cluttered thoughts creates procrastination, anxiety, burnout, depression, hopelessness, and/or paralysis. So, how do you start getting your arms wrapped around all the shit you need to do and organize your life, tasks, and responsibilities? I personally suggest a brain dump. This is where you just take everything that comes to your mind that you need to do and dump it on a piece of paper. Yes! Get that good ole fashioned pen and paper out and write! (For those of you who are sooooooo milleniallized, using notes in your phone, tablet, or computer will do, lol). Writing (or typing) all of the things that you do, need to do, have to do, and want to do is a great way to transfer all the clutter out of your mind. It allows you to clear your brain of all that stuff. Now, I am not suggesting that seeing all of the things that you need to do will prevent anxiety and overwhelm so stay with me. There is another step. Once you have transferred all of your brain clutter, you can break down the things that you need to do into small bites. For example - if one of the things you need to do is clean your closet, don’t think of it (or plan it) as one big task. Think of it (and plan it) as a daily task; where you dedicate 45 mins a day for 7 days to get it done. Do that same exercise with everything that you need to do. It doesn’t matter if it’s work, taking care of the kids or family, doing household chores, working on or in your business, or working towards a goal. Getting in the habit of making a list of things you need to do, then taking that list and planning when you will do it (again, in small bites) will help you get your arms around all the stuff you’ve got on your plate. This step may take a few weeks, or maybe even a few months depending on how much shit you have to do or organize. But, that’s ok. Patience is precious. Taking the time to get your life organized is a HUGE investment into getting yourself where you want to be and hitting your goals. So please, do not skip this step and do not rush through it. If you need more hands-on assistance with getting your life organized, you can access my private page of life hacks and use the free course on how to be productive and not overwhelmed to assist you. Once you have a handle on all of your life’s activities and responsibilities, you will have the clarity needed to focus on getting back on the wagon if you’ve fallen off and you’ll have a better chance at staying on it because you have an organized system for how to get shit done!

3. Believe that what you want is possible and that it is within arms reach of manifesting it! So many of us struggle with staying on the wagon because deep down in our psyche, we don’t truly believe that what we want is going to come to fruition. WIth every little microscopic hurdle, objection, or inconvenience we begin to let the doubt seep in and start second guessing our goals. This happens due to a lack of faith and belief. The thing is - if you do not believe it can happen to you, you can not achieve it for you. Belief is 80% of the ingredients for success, happiness, and accomplishments. If you find yourself constantly doubting whether you can do what you want to do; it’s likely that you need to create a positive atmosphere around you. A positive atmosphere consists of surrounding yourself with positive books, positive people, uplifting content, lightheartedness and kindness. Many of you surround yourselves with negative people who complain constantly, gossipy and fear mongering content, tv and social media that displays unrealistic views of life and expectations, etc. Remember, what you feed your mind is what it chews, so if you are always surrounded by doubty, negative, glass half empty people and situations; then that is how you will constantly perceive the circumstances in your life. Thus, you’ll likely get discouraged and feel powerless when you are faced with challenges, which is the opposite of belief.

So, there you have it! Those are the 3 things that have helped me get back on the wagon when I’ve fallen off. As a matter of fact, writing this blog IS a getting back on the wagon moment for me! My goal is to write and post a blog weekly. I had been on the wagon and posting blogs weekly for about 3 months, and I fell off the wagon and hadn’t written or posted a blog for almost 5 MONTHS!!! Ughhhh

But, then I remember that this is all a part of MY process. My journey. It’s not going to be perfect because I am not perfect. And THAT is 100% OK and normal.

...and guess what?? You may fall off the wagon too. You may be inconsistent at times. And that’s OK!! It is a part of your journey. You are exactly where you are meant to be. Learn how to get back on that damn wagon EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. That’s how you’ll get to your destination. It may not look pretty. It may not feel good every step of the way. But it IS the way. It’s your way. You got this babe!

Love you, mean it!

Breezy Phoenix