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Are You Letting People Love You? The Main Reason That You Are Pushing Love Away




Lately, I’ve been writing more and more blogs about love. And that’s probably because I’m getting more and more questions about it as people seem to get the most confused about how to attract the love that they want and why they aren’t getting what they’re asking for… and I totally understand. Attracting love was confusing to me too. For YEARS. I thought I was doing everything to get the love that I wanted, most people do. But as it turns out, most of us are not as self aware as we think we are and tend to focus on the “significant other’s” flaws, issues, problems, and shortcomings - and this is where the problem comes in when trying to attract love.


So, today, we are going to talk about the most common problem that is preventing you Queens from attracting and manifesting the love and relationship that you want, which is learning how to let people love you. And before you ask, yes this a THING! Remember you attract people, experiences, and circumstances that match the energy that you are giving off - and not allowing people to love you, or not being emotionally available for love, is a real thing that you must overcome if you truly want to attract a deep love connection. So, here is the main reason why (and most common reason why) you may be pushing love away.


You are afraid to get hurt, be disappointed, rejected, and/or have your guards up. Fear is the number one culprit that prevents people from manifesting what they want - especially love. Keep in mind, you attract back to yourself that of which matches your energy. So, if you are in fear of getting hurt in love, you will only attract people and circumstances who will manifest your fear and you’ll end up getting hurt.


This is essentially how you push love away. Your energy of fear is a love repellent. And people who are capable of truly loving you deeply will actually not be attracted to you. They will feel your negative energy and it will not resonate with them nor be a match with their energy of love. Additionally, when you radiate the energy of fear, YOU will only BE attracted to someone who matches that fear energy; therefore just like someone who vibrates a love energy is not attracted to you, you are also not attracted to them. Why is that you ask? It’s because you are not vibrating on the frequency of love, you are vibrating the frequency of fear.


Vibrating in fear will causes you to do all things opposite of letting people love you. Here’s how being afraid to get hurt, disappointed, rejected, or having your guards up will cause you to inadvertently and unconsciously push love away.


  • You may not be willing to be vulnerable. Love requires honesty and vulnerability. You will not be able to experience love if you aren’t sharing your true self. You have to be willing to express your real feelings and give love openly. You have to be willing to expose yourself, flaws and all, to someone. You will be willing to let them see YOU without the mask, without the filters, without the makeup, without the savageness, without the nonchalant attitude, without the defensiveness, and without your pride. You have to be willing and able to give and show someone love with your whole heart, even if that means that your heart may be broken. Loving deeply and allowing someone to love you deeply takes courage. It’s a risk. If you go in with the willingness to take a swing with your whole heart, you may miss a few balls, but eventually you’ll hit the home run. But, if you go into it playing it safe, you’ll strike out every time.


  • You may not communicate your needs, wants, and feelings openly. Lots of people have a misconception that there are certain things that people should just know about how to love, so many do not feel that they need to communicate everything. And I’m here to tell you that you need to communicate EVERYTHING. You can not assume that people know how to love you the way you need and prefer to be loved. You also can not expect people to understand what YOU don’t make clear. Lack of communicating how you feel, what you need, what you want, and what you expect is a huge sign that you need to work on your willingness to be vulnerable. Communication is the foundation of a successful relationship and you will lots and lots and lots of it to make a relationship long lasting.

  • You might expect more than you are giving. Some of you may get mad at me for this one. But, hear me out. When you are afraid to get hurt, you have your guards up - this means that you are protecting yourself, which inevitably causes you not be “all in” and giving of yourself fully. Protecting yourself means that you have one foot in the door and the other foot out of the door just in case you need to abort mission. While I totally understand why we protect ourselves in this way (I used to do it too so no judgement here), I want you to understand the consequences. When you are half in, half out - you are expecting the other person to show you that they are worthy of you, you expect them to be consistent, want them to show you that they are serious about you BEFORE you put your guards down and let them in. If you’re only half in and expect the other person to give you 100% of their heart before you’re willing to give yours, then you are expecting more than you're willing to give. I keep reminding you that you only get in life what you give. So, you give only a piece of yourself, you only get a piece of someone else. You want them to love you entirely, fully, unconditionally, out loud, deeply, without hesitation? - Then you must be willing to give the same. If you expect that they prove themselves first, then you should expect to attract people that you have to prove yourself to - first.


  • You could have a negative perception or negative beliefs about love/relationships in general. Here’s this one in a nutshell - if you think you’re going to get hurt, then you’re going to get hurt. If you think men/women are liars, then you will attract and be attracted to liars. If you think all married people still cheat so you’re low key happy that you aren’t married, then you’ll stay unmarried. I could go on, but I hope you get the point. Bottom line, what you think and believe is what you will see, attract, and experience.


  • You may sabotage relationships. This is very, very, very common. Lots of people do this because they are so on edge trying to prevent themselves from getting hurt, that they attempt to anticipate when the relationship is going downhill. This causes you to overanalyze “red flags” and/or be ready to end the relationship prematurely over insignificant issues. I’m going to be blunt (I mean this with love so don’t take it personal if this applies to you) - this is a sign of emotional immaturity. If you are doing this, you are not ready for a deeply loving relationship. You should take time to yourself, do some self reflection, heal, and grow. If you need help, click here for access to the Life Hack Headquarters for some additional online courses and resources that will assist you.


I call these types of behaviors “Blind Spots” because these are attitudes, behaviors, and personality traits that you may be unaware of, or if you are aware that you do these things you don’t realize how they feel to other people o


utside of you. As I stated at the beginning of this article, attracting love can be confusing because looking at our own behavior and accepting that it is us causing ourselves to attract what we’re getting from life is not what we’ve been taught and it is definitely not the popular concept.


But, All Queens Army is all about self accountability. In this Queendom, we do not focus on what is outside of us. We do not focus on what


other people do in relation to what we are experiencing. We focus on what we can control ourselves. Because at the end of the day, someone else's behavior only impacts us if we continue to allow it to do so.


I hope you found this info helpful. I pray that you are able to identify any “blind spot” that you may not be aware of. And I am sending you tons of love, positive energy, and support in hopes that you allow people to love you by learning how to give love freely. It truly is a beautiful thing, and so are you.


Love ya, Queen!


Breezy Phoenix



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