5 Easy Steps To Ask For What You Want... and Get It!

Do you find yourself wondering why some people seem to get what they want in life with ease? But for you, on the other hand, there are areas in your life you struggle to get something that you really want to have, experience, or achieve?

Seems odd, right?

Like, what are these people doing so much differently than what you’re doing? And how are they doing it?

Great questions. And fortunately, I have a few answers.

People who appear to effortlessly and frequently receive the blessings and good fortune in their lives BELIEVE that they deserve them and EXPECT to receive them. Regardless if they know it or not, they are essentially putting the law of attraction to work. They manifest the things in life that they want because they believe it’s possible and have the faith that it will come.

Here’s another thing that these people do to get what they want. They ask for it!

Now, don’t give me no little eye rolls because you think you’ve been asking for what you want for a while and it hasn’t come yet, so you think it can’t be that simple. Well… maybe you’re right in a sense. But you’re also wrong too. Here’s why. The first step in getting what you want is asking for it. It really is just that simple. I’m sure you all have heard the saying “If you don’t ask, the answer will always be NO”. It’s true. No one can give you what you want if you don’t put it out there. Even the Bible says, “Ask, and ye shall receive.” Keep in mind, the first step of manifesting what you want is to ask for it.

Now here’s the catch. Asking is for what you want IS how you get what you want, but there is one more thing that you need to do. And that’s BELIEVE. You have to believe that what you are asking for is possible. You have to believe that it’s coming. You have to believe that you deserve it. You have to believe it so much that you can actually see yourself having it, doing it, experiencing it, or enjoying it. You have to feel so damn confident in it that as soon as you ask for it, as soon as you put it out there that this is what you want; you feel like it’s ALREADY yours!!!!

The reason that simply asking for what you want is working for others and NOT working for you is because you are riddled with doubt. Getting what you want requires blind unwavering faith. A lot of you are asking for what you want, many of you have written out your goals and dreams, but you don’t have faith and belief in what you’re asking for. If your current life's circumstances or situation does not give you any signs that it’s happening, you start to second guess if it’s possible. If your friends and family question your goal or plans you get discouraged. If you put in some effort to get what you want and you don’t get the results, you start to think it’s not meant to be. See what I mean? You allow what you can see with your physical eyes to determine your level of belief and faith. You depend on what’s happening right now to determine what’s possible in the future. You speak uncertainty and self-deprecatingly over your wants, desires, dreams, and goals. Bottom line, you don’t believe with 1000% certainty, that what you’re asking for is possible, is yours, and is in the works.

So, how do you overcome this limitation and ask for what you want AND get it! Here’s a few quick steps that you can take today.

1. Write down all the things you want. Transferring an idea from your brain to something physical (like paper, notebook, or computer) is a solid step towards making your idea, goal, desire, or dream a reality. Now, some of you may have done this already, but it doesn’t matter, do it again! But when you do it this time, write it on something that you look at daily. Or post the list somewhere that you can see everyday. Also, while you are writing (or re-writing) the things you want - re-evaluate and prioritize them. While re-evaluating, you want to think about why these are the things that you want. What is the purpose behind them, what does it solve, why is it important to you, what pain or inconvenience will you experience if you DON’T experience or manifest it? These questions will uncover your true reason for wanting what you want. And this is important because if what you want is too superficial and does not invoke a passion, pain avoidance, or purpose; then you’ll lack the discipline to stick with the manifestation process long enough to ever see it come to fruition.

Next, prioritize the things you want. Your number one should be the most important. A best practice for me is after prioritizing, write the top three on a separate paper (or whatever you choose to write it on so you can see it everyday) and focus on those top three as short term goals/desires. And once I achieve/manifest those three, then focus on the next three on the list. I learned that (for me) having too many goals/desires to focus on at once made me feel overwhelmed and defeated and because BELIEF IS the key to getting what you want, I had to eliminate actions that perpetuated lack of belief. This is only a suggestion, but I am sharing because it works for me and may work for some of you as well.

Lastly, remember to put your list somewhere you look everyday. The repetition of seeing it will help your mind begin to accept it a real, and the realer it gets in your mind the more belief you’ll have about it in your heart.

2. Do your part. God helps those who help themselves. One thing I’ve learned about manifesting what you want is this - What you want is your responsibility, how you get it is the universe’s/God’s responsibility. What that means is, you decide what you want. You say what your aspirations, goals, and dreams are. You do not need to control or determine HOW they come to fruition - the universe/God will do that! But, what you do need to do is start moving towards the goal/dream. As you start moving towards it, the universe will guide your steps directly TO the goal. So many people never get what they want because they refuse to start taking steps towards their goal. They pray and pray and pray and pray and have tons of faith, but faith without work is dead. God can’t move a parked car, so you have to take some steps.

I have had some people tell me that they don’t know how to start taking steps towards getting what they want. This is a fair and realistic problem and concern. If you don’t know how to start, I created a To-Do List here that you can download for free to help you get started with moving towards your goals and dreams.

3. Start making decisions in your life as if what you want is already here. This one is my favorite! The easiest way for me to explain it is to give you a real example, so here it goes - If your goal is to have a baby, start making decisions as if the baby is already here. Like, if you’re looking to move or buy a house - look for places with the perfect baby’s room in mind. Look for places with the type of school district you desire. Think about a babysitter or nanny, or if you need a work from home job if you are applying for new jobs/opportunities. Start thinking of baby names and talk about future plans inserting the baby (by name) in your plans. The more you behave as if what you want is already here and start making decisions as such, the more realistic you make your desire and the more you’ll believe in it!! If you only think of what you want in theory, your brain will not translate it into something real, so start behaving as if you have it and your mind will begin to believe it. Once you start believing it, you are on the fact track to receiving what you hope for!

4. Read, watch, or listen to something positive and uplifting everyday. Fill your mind with positivity and possibility because there is enough negative energy and doubt in our everyday lives to wear anyone down. You have to get into the habit of engaging with people, places, content, scenarios, and situations that build your self esteem, confidence, and determination. Because we live in a world where gossip and tearing people down are at an all time high, you must intentionally find time in your day to strengthen your mental fortitude. Books and YouTube videos are my favorite source of positive fuel for the mind, you can also search for positive and uplifting podcasts such as the All Queens Army podcast (yup, that was a plug!). On a serious note, be sure to enhance your mindset; not only does it build your confidence, it will consistently remind you that you can do, be, or have ANYTHING your heart desires if you put your mind to it. You are powerful, capable, and deserving.

5. Emotionally detach from your blind spots (family and friends included). This is the most important step. So many people have dream killers right in their circle and have NO IDEA that the people closest to them or certain life situations or circumstances are inserting doubt, fear, worry, or limiting beliefs into their lives. I can guarantee you that 99% of you reading this has a “blind spot”. A blind spot is someone or something who or that you feel comfortable with, it could be a friend, family member, co-worker, spouse, job, church (or other organization), or social circle. This person or thing vibrates at the same frequency as you do (today), but you aspire to evolve or grow to a higher place in life which means (knowingly or unknowingly) you are seeking to vibrate higher. If this person or thing has NO desire to evolve or grow, then you’ll have to cut the umbilical cord (this is an emotional attachment) with them because you can not elevate while attached to someone or something that is vibrating at a lower frequency if they have no desire to evolve too. They/It will only hold you back.

This causes a blind spot because it is typically someone you love who outwardly loves and supports you or something you love/like and depend on. Keep in mind, I am not saying that they don’t support you or haven’t been good to you. This is not about “cutting them or it off”. Cutting people and things off and emotionally detaching are two different things. I can still engage with someone and have no emotional attachment or reaction to their behavior, energy, reactions, or responses. I can still be in the same room with a person and observe but not absorb their energy. Get it?

The reason that blind spots are blind to you is because it is typically something or someone that you are attached to and you do not see them/it as holding you back. Remember, you have to believe in your dream with 10000% certainty. You have to rid yourself of ALL doubt, worry, second guessing, and uncertainty. You have to walk, talk, and behave AS IF what you want already IS. That means separating your emotions from people, conversations, situations, and circumstances that conflict what you want. To make it understandable, let me give you a few examples. If your goal is to lose weight, you have to emotionally detach from people who weight shame. It doesn’t matter if they shame fat or skinny people, being around someone who talks negatively about anyone’s weight is a low vibrational frequency. If you are attempting to change YOUR weight, it means that you are seeking to increase your vibrational frequency so you can not afford to be tied to someone who has a low frequency in this area of life. Again, they will bring you down and keep you down at their level. Instead, connect with and talk to people who talk positively and uplifting about weight, they will inspire and encourage you. Here’s another example, if your goal is to get married, you have to emotionally detach from people who believe (or state) men are dogs or women ain’t shit. If you want to get married, you have to believe that there are good quality partners out there. You can’t keep that positive belief if you are constantly listening to and/or attached to someone who is spewing negativity about relationships and creating doubt about an area of life that you aspire to change.

Ok, so I know I said these would be 5 EASY steps to ask for what you want, and get it; and you may be thinking that the suggestions above are complicated as hell. Well, I can admit that reading it does make it a little overwhelming, but I promise it’s not hard at all. You just have to get serious about practicing those steps. So, for anyone who needs a little extra help, I created a course that teaches you how to manifest what you want, you can access it here for free.

I hope you Queens try out these steps and take advantage of the How To Get Started To-Do List or the How to Manifest What You Want course if you need them. Comment below if you have any questions, always happy to help! Until next time Queens!